Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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