is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
