Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
