Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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