i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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