I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
