I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
