I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
