I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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