did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
