That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
