I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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