We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
