do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
