Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
