used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
