in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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