We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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