Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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