thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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