We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
