Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
