she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
