shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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