She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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