Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
pray to the hookup gods
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
