I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
