We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
