he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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