if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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