cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my liver is dry heaving
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
