Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
