just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
