we made out on top of his cat.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
