I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
