Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
bring money and cleavage
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
