I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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