Non-Jews are for practice
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
