there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize