It's a beautiful day for a hangover
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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