sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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