Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

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  (415): mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you http://tfl.nu/75lg
  Replies (3) Good night (2505) Bad night (571)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex

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  (312): Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex http://tfl.nu/n8r5
  Replies (20) Good night (4306) Bad night (481)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.

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  (630): it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up. http://tfl.nu/l5tu
  Replies (10) Good night (5463) Bad night (653)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

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  (252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME. http://tfl.nu/1mf6
  Replies (94) Good night (18318) Bad night (2805)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.

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  (612): you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all. http://tfl.nu/uo2n
  Replies (6) Good night (4849) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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  (253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh
  Replies (11) Good night (2322) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?

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  (530): And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion? http://tfl.nu/zsah
  Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2059) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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  (919): I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/oued
  Replies (10) Good night (4353) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.

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  (832): Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice. http://tfl.nu/bv8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1817) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again

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  (734): of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again http://tfl.nu/rl6w
  Replies (19) Good night (1767) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Who showers for four hours?!

  (760): View more from California

  It was like a tropical nap.

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  (206): Who showers for four hours?! (760): It was like a tropical nap. http://tfl.nu/5ez6
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

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  (818): I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome. http://tfl.nu/6w7h
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.

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  (647): One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/axc4
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.

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  (+61): I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit. http://tfl.nu/qiro
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (199)

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