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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

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• (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (+47): View more from Norway

  I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  ...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  what's your room number? I've never been there sober...

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Does this mean I have to put a bra on now

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