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• (714): View more from California

  Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table

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• (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil

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  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️

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• (858): View more from California

  Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.

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