On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet