I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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