was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
