I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
