Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls

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  (732): my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls http://tfl.nu/3jtt
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (2530)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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  (206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk
  Replies (31) Good night (3593) Bad night (622)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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  (504): Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16 http://tfl.nu/jkrb
  Replies (16) Good night (5063) Bad night (641)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours

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  (414): I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours http://tfl.nu/ud9t
  Replies (27) Good night (6197) Bad night (1635)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD

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  (740): I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD http://tfl.nu/hcwh
  Replies (24) Good night (696) Bad night (5112)
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  (562): View more from California

  not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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  (562): not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it. http://tfl.nu/xhfr
  Replies (24) Good night (4134) Bad night (1089)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

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  (443): You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously! http://tfl.nu/q8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (657)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope, his last birthday was.

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  (910): "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right? (770): Nope, his last birthday was. http://tfl.nu/dk94
  Replies (5) Good night (2005) Bad night (539)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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  (703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5
  Replies (12) Good night (2299) Bad night (647)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

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  (423): I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you. http://tfl.nu/8fht
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (795)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (419)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

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  (250): You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you. http://tfl.nu/tyfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1227) Bad night (459)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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  (678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (497)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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  (416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice

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  (540): I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice http://tfl.nu/bdyb
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (173)

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