mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish you could order shots online.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
