420 ftw
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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