dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
