Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
