just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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