Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
