I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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