Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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