I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
