yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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