Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
is it fun? or sober?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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