if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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