if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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