like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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