nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
