I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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