Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
