Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What a dumb baby whore.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
