I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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