We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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