I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
